I hate structure. The trouble is, I thrive under it. That’s quandary. I’ve known this about myself for some time now, but have long tried to deny it. It’s time to stop.
I remember back in grade 12, I enjoyed my Global Studies class. I was one of the lucky students who found, at least that chapter of my education, to be fairly effortless. We were often asked to write short essays about various current or historical issues, and I always completed my assignments proud of the job I had done. Near the end of the semester, I was happy to hear that we could do our final essay on anything we wanted (within context, of course). I took forever deciding on a topic, and when I finally limped to completion I was not pleased. Nor was my teacher. He took me aside and said, “Not your best work, is it?” It wasn’t, but why not? I chose the topic myself, I worked at my own pace, and I pretty much got to do it just the way I wanted. That was the problem right there. The freedom I was excited to exploit also came with the total lack of parameters and goals.
This isn’t a jaw dropping antic dote, I realize, but it’s a simple one and I know you folks like me have your own. In the years since that little essay, I have repeatedly experienced the same thing, but with increasing consequence. What was an irritant in a high school class is dangerous in a career. Trust me on that one.
I hate structure. I even balk at my own, self-imposed structures! Take this blog for instance. It is something I am truly excited about. Before I started it I had the burning passion to write something EVERY DAY, but the very act of setting up a website that now demanded commitment somehow triggered my instinct to resist any form of scheduled, targeted output. Ok, before I start sadly listing all of my commitment shortcomings, and crumple into a heap of pathetic self-loathing on my MacBook, I’ll get to my point!
People like us are common. In fact, I would suggest (with absolutely no scientific evidence, of course) that this is especially common among people who are passionate about many things and want to embrace and act on them all. We’re dreamers, and it is hard to rein ourselves in because it feels like we are not reaching our potential. Trouble is, that is a perilous thing because without some form of measurement, we have no perception of what is great, or even adequate. We resent those who put constraints around us, but ironically, we need them so we can gauge our production and ourselves.
Don’t worry; we might not always need them. I’m sure there are many, many successful entrepreneurs who where plagued by the same self-discovery wanderlust before they found their stride. Seasoned entrepreneurs have the experience to measure their efforts against past successes and failures, and have gained some sense of what to do, and how it’s working.
Draw a picture. Was it a good job? How do you know? Now draw 100 more. You will have a much better feel for what is fantastic and what is trash. As important as learning what good work looks like is learning the process. Process, and the discipline to create and follow it, is what will separate a wealthy, self-satisfied, adequately intelligent chap, from the tormented, unrealized genius.
So do this: accept that bloody imposition of structure in your life. It goes against what you want, and it makes your skin crawl to have a measuring stick, a schedule, someone looking over your shoulder (even if it’s just yourself), or any sort of accountability, but if you’re like me, it will give you those parameters you need to work within. I’m using broad strokes here, as you can tell, but each person needs a different structure, and again, if you’re like me, you know where you need it.
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